By Cary L. Cooper, Suzan Lewis
This article presents pointers on facing tricky staff and employers tactfully and successfully.
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Additional info for 30 Minutes to Deal with Difficult People (30 Minutes)
The pace of this type of dialogue can often move very fast and develop into an argument if one or the other individual fails to adopt an assertive approach. Try to remember to stay calm, control your breathing and speak slowly and quietly to avoid any escalation of the situation. Role negotiation This technique is based on an idea originally described by Roger Harrison in 1972. It is a useful way of overcoming the problems that lead to ineffectiveness caused by behaviour that an individual is unwilling to change, because it would mean a loss of power or influence.
However, you also have the right not to be put down, humiliated, or criticized in front of other people. 43 Coping With Difficult People If you become angry, annoyed or scared, it is likely that you will fail to listen to what is being said during the interaction and will react inappropriately. Try to relax by taking a few deep breaths. This will also prevent you from speaking too soon and will ensure that you are clear about what is being said about your behaviour or performance. If the criticism is vague or ambiguous, ask the person to be more specific and if necessary to quote actual examples.
Not all situations can follow a rigid step-by-step approach but the following guidelines can help. ᔢ Gain control of your thoughts and feelings by breathing correctly. This buys you some time to slow down the fast pace of an aggressive interaction. ᔢ Pause and then gain information by asking questions to ensure that you understand the circumstances and situation. Encourage the aggressor to talk about the feelings that are causing their aggressive behaviour. ᔢ Check your own inner dialogue for faulty thinking: Are you harbouring unrealistic or irrational beliefs?